This man, Conor Fowler of Baltimore, MD, is a rapist. He raped me and has raped other women I know. He is violent, manipulative, dangerous, and should not be trusted. He is not under any current legal investigation and is still a threat to women in the Baltimore area.

Stay away from him and advise everyone you know to do the same. I suspect he has attacked many women and will continue to do so any time he feels he can get away with it.

It has taken me nearly six years to build up the courage to share this in such a public way and I am doing so in hopes of reaching out to other women he victimized who have not yet had the support or avenues needed to come forward.  I want to do everything in my power to stop him from hurting anyone else, but I can’t do this alone.  Please share via any/all social media platforms and feel free to add commentary.

If you know someone Conor assaulted who wants to talk me, give her my contact information or request it through my ask box if you don’t know me in person.  You are not alone

First things first, I want to commend the woman speaking out. We read, everyday, about more and more sexual assault survivors outing their abusers and I can only imagine how difficult it is to do so. You have courage that I’ve never known and I hope that you continue to flourish and shine. Clearly, you have a lot of support, keep those people close because misogyny, rape apologists, and victim blamers often lurk around. 

Being someone who is very distantly acquainted with this man, I hate to admit that I hesitated when I saw this post because my instinct was ‘how do I know this is true?’ and ‘this guy’s reputation is on the line’ but then I thought about it (asked some questions, got some answers) and realized I was perpetuating everything that I’ve been fighting against and all the things I’m hoping women and men will ‘unteach’ themselves. 

I’m confident that many people I know who know him much better than I do and perhaps even consider him a friend will have the same knee-jerk reaction. 


And, now, consider: People don’t just makes these accusations up. And people don’t just randomly accuse someone of a heinous crime six years later (or at any time, really). Less than 1% of rape accusations are false and as much as you may know or like this man, it’s highly unlikely that this falls into that category. 

It’s easy to share an article about the Steubenville, or TKE, or any other men who’ve been accused of horrific crimes against women when they’re distant and far-removed from you.

It’s easy to advocate for change in those cases. It’s a little more uncomfortable when that person is someone you know, but what you don’t want to do right now is perpetuate exactly what you stood against in all those past articles you’ve shared about rape (the current one’s probably being the Columbia University student speaking up). 

So right now may perhaps be a defining moment for many of the people who I know. You’re probably going to learn a lot about yourself in how you react and then choose to proceed here. 

Don’t be like all of those people we’ve hated on for supporting rapists and rallying behind them. 

Just don’t. 

reblogging for comment.

Once I called him my best friend. This is very fucking serious.

If your initial reaction to this, or any outing of a rapist, is to immediately question the validity of the accusation then please take a minute to think about why you’re doing that. If your answer includes ‘innocent until proven guilty’, then think about why it never crossed your mind to lend the victim that same assumption. Because as sensational as those one in a million reports are of women who falsely accuse a man and ruin his life, there are millions of women who have been assaulted that never come forward. I will go as far as to say that there is definitely a woman, if not many, in your life who has been sexually assaulted. Most likely she was convinced either by her own internalized, self-deprecating assumptions of why she was raped, or by the people in her life influenced by rape culture, not to file a report or bring any consequences at all against her rapist.

Think about this: He didn’t hesitate to ruin her life, so if outing him as a rapist would ruin his then why should she, or any victim, keep quiet?

Please stop pretending that women deserve this. They fucking don’t.

Reblogging again because this sort of thing is incredibly important.

Conor Fowler is a rapist and lives in Baltimore, MD.

Please be careful.

I just wanted to reblog this again because the commentary is incredibly important.


black women gettin head on national television, asian men gettin their salads tossed on national television.

glory to Shonda in the highest

As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive - constantly - as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.

By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.

Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.

Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.

There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.

On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes.

A Woman of War by Mehreen Kasana (via pbnpineapples)


If you’re protesting abortion, the Supreme Court says you can get right in women’s faces and scream at them on their way into the clinic. Because freedom of speech.

But if you try and protest the murder of a black man, you get tear gas fired at you.


Wonder Woman by Cliff Chiang.

The best there is.

(Source: scarabzam)

when i was a lil baby softball player (as i was for over 13 yrs of my life), i watched baseball religiously. (my favorite player was jay gibbons, so that was a big bummer)

i always thought of the orioles as a hometown team - we loved them, but they were never gonna be the best, we were just happy if we got to see a win or two at the yard.

idc what else happens, little ten year old me is so hyped right now.

we’re the goddamn AL east champions, by a landslide.

pretty freakin’ cool.


the most unattractive quality to me in other people is constant belittling of what means a lot to others. being contrarian just to be contrarian. people who love to play devil’s advocate. a kind of smugness about everything. an air of being above everyone because you don’t care about anything deeply like the people you mock




(via Students help Emma Sulkowicz carry mattress to class in first collective carry)

Y E S 

baby’s first palette! … now can someone teach me how to use it properly?

baby’s first palette! … now can someone teach me how to use it properly?